Transitional Thoughts
by Dark-Supernatural-Angel
Summary: 'She was never supposed to feel anything more when it came to the eldest Salvatore and yet his very presence, his very love for her, consumed her to the core so much so that it scared her. For some reason, it terrified her...Her body may not be conflicted like her heart was but deep down she knew that they both wanted the same vampire, the same brother.' 3x22 Two-shot: Limbo onward
1. Part 1

"**Transitional Thoughts"**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Vampire Diaries_. They belong to their respective owners (I thank them for creating them in the first place).

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**A/N #1:** I have mixed feelings about the season 3 finale (if you check out my **_LiveJournal_** reactions to it, you'll see why) but anyways, I just had to write this so sorry if its choppier than usual. ENJOY!

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She knew she was going to die the moment she realized that she had no way of getting out of that car. The sight of Stefan should have filled her with relief as he swam to the window but it hadn't really. The only relief that Elena felt was that Stefan was _Matt's_ chance of surviving. So like her father did before her, she motioned for Stefan to rescue Matt first and when she watched them swim away, as her last ounce of oxygen was used up, she knew that she would be dead before he came back for her.

In some weird way, she welcomed death this time. She _should_ have died when her parents had…she _should_ have died when Klaus performed that ritual. Maybe she was the only one to realize it but maybe it was her time to just die.

So when she closed her eyes as the last of her lungs filled with water, she welcomed the thought that this was how her life was supposed to end. She may be leaving many of her loved ones behind but they were better off without her as her_ Petrova doppelganger_ title has brought so much trouble into their lives. She wouldn't be the cause of tearing apart a brotherhood that's existed for more than a century…she wouldn't be the cause of anyone's pain anymore.

And although she was sad that her life was ending, she couldn't help but feel a little excited at the mere idea of seeing all the ones she had lost once again; her mother, her father, her aunt and everyone else that she's lost and missed so much.

When she had let the darkness consume her, she didn't know what to expect. It felt like she was floating in a pitch black room and yet something was keeping her restrained; like if she were being held down by weights in a swimming pool. She wasn't expecting to feel that again; to feel like she had when she was on the verge of being revived once again; the same feeling she had just before she died from the ritual.

Yet like before, her life had flashed before her eyes; more specifically the last couple of months since she last died.

A whole montage of images flashed through her mind in a blur yet she could see them as clear as a vampire would. A majority of those moments involved Damon (she didn't get why but she let that slide for now) and it wasn't until then (on her very own 'deathbed') that she realized that after _everything_, whether she liked it or not, _Damon_ was _always_ there for her.

He was there when she needed help in her search for Stefan, he was there when the Originals were after her and he was there (time and time again) after all her rejections towards him. He didn't have to search for his brother since he had eternity to wait it out for him; she didn't have that time to wait. He didn't have to take on the Originals to protect her yet he did when his very nature told him to get out and run (self-preservation and all). He could have walked away after their Denver-fight (which unfortunately happened after an unforgettable kiss between them) but he hadn't because she needed him when Alaric's alter ego was causing them problems.

The vampire she once claimed to have no redeeming qualities turned out to be the very vampire that was a constant in her life, always being there for her in whatever way she needed, since the _very_ beginning; a guy to confide in when she couldn't talk to anyone else, a guy who cheered her up easily with his humor, a guy that made her feel safe even though _he_ was the source to all sorts of dangers that happened and most importantly, he was the guy that she would depend on when no one else would. He always thought of the end game when it came to her life which was to keep her _alive_; he had proved that he would do anything to make sure she remained like that.

She was never supposed to feel anything more when it came to the eldest Salvatore and yet his very presence, his very love for her, consumed her to the core so much so that it scared her. For some reason, it _terrified_ her.

**"_You want a love that consumes you._"** His voice echoed in her head before the memory resurfaced in her mind; a memory she didn't know she had in the first place. **"_You want passion, an adventure and maybe a little bit of danger._"** He continued in a confident tone; a tone she was use to associating with Damon.

But is that what she wanted? She could see the appeal his words brought to her and maybe at the time (when vampires weren't out to get her) she would have jumped at the chance to experience a love like that but after everything, could her heart take that kind of love? Could her heart handle the love that _Damon_ had for her or was Stefan's love enough?

More moments flashed before her as she witnessed the dynamic change and grow between herself and Damon. She notices that when she's with him, it's as easy as breathing because she simply reacts to him...there is no thinking involve. She just _reacts_.

She continues to take in all those moments in before she heard his words once again; words that could have changed everything for her, for them, if she was allowed to remember them in the first place when it originally occurred.

**"_I love you Elena and it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you._"** He sadly stated as his sapphire eyes gazed deeply into her chocolate brown ones as if he were carving the image of her in that moment into his mind, as if she'd disappear before his eyes if he wasn't careful. **"_I don't deserve you but my brother does._"** He proclaimed as one final tear slid free from his eyes before he compelled her to forget the confession; to forget how much he truly loved her (and continued to love her) as he let her go.

It was in _that_ moment that she would have seen his vulnerability; a side that she could easily fall for without hesitating because it was so _real_. One real look and she would know all of his emotions in that moment. There is no mask...there is just Damon staring back at her with so much emotion that anyone would cave due to its intensity.

He's a man that would do anything for her as long as it made her happy; even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness with her so that _she_ could be with _his_ brother. He's a man that would keep things interesting between them as he offered her the world. He's the very man that only wanted _one_ thing out of life; to be loved in return…by her.

After recalling memories she never knew she had, it wasn't hard for her to realize that she would wake up in transition (she would fret over being compelled later) but would that change things? Would her choice change now that she remembered what she wasn't supposed to know?

If she chose to complete the transition, would she still go with the man she chose before her unsuspected death?

Would she be with the man who saved her from herself ever since that tragic day on Wickery Bridge or the man who's done _everything_ in his power to keep her safe?

Would she be with the man she fell for in an instant or the man who she's grown to love over time?

Would she be with the man with a pure soul or the man with a passionate outlook on life?

She knew that one would always be the best thing for her but when it came down to the other, he could be the _very_ best or the _very_ worst thing for her in the end. Was she willing to risk it? Would she put her heart on the line to experience what could be the greatest love out there (and in return the greatest loss as well if it ever came to that) or would she go for the love that she knew would keep her heart safe?

Either way Katherine was wrong; it _wasn't_ okay to love them both…not like this. Loving both meant she would be hurting both of them; two vampire brothers who have suffered enough because of her.

And yet they stuck by her side.

The least she could do was choose which brother she wanted to spend eternity with.

Her body may not be conflicted like her heart was but _deep_ down she knew that they both wanted the same vampire, the same brother.

He just so happened to be her sire too…the very first vampire she ever came across.

She could only hope that when she wakes up that she'll be able to love him like he deserves; always and forever.

She could only pray that when she wakes up that Damon Salvatore would give her the chance to love him like he's always loved her.

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**A/N #2: **There you go! What did you think? **Please let me know in a review** (both on the oneshot and the episode itself if you want)!

**A/N #3:** Now this is what I wish for...for Elena's transition to be the very moment that gets her to truly see what the right choice is. I didn't touch upon this since she hasn't experience it but I think once Elena feels those vampire pros/cons (ie: the cravings and the heightened emotions), I think she'll really understand the brothers better, especially Damon. Elena will finally understand the cravings Damon's been able to control (while Stefan hasn't gotten there yet) or how hard it is to keep their emotions in check (maybe then she'll see how easy it is for vampires to snap because she did say that Damon sabotaged things when he really can't help it when his emotions are involved). Either way, **I can't wait for season 4 in Fall 2012! **

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**Originally Published: **May 11, 2012


	2. Part 2

"**Transitional Thoughts"**

**Sequel**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Vampire Diaries_. They belong to their respective owners (I thank them for creating them in the first place).

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**A/N #1:** Alright so by popular demand, I have written a sequel/epilogue type chapter for the original oneshot. This is just to give you an idea of Elena's life after she's transitioned into a vampire. There are open-endings for a few characters but the main focus is Elena.

**A/N #2: **Once again, I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors and for any run-on sentences (for some reason, the way its written seems to work for my mind, so just go with it please).

**A/N #3: **Also, thank you so much for the reviews and the overall support with the original oneshot; it truly means the world for me. **ENJOY!**

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She didn't know how long she stayed on the ground for; probably the whole day since it looked like the sun was setting but she didn't care. Her back was leaning against the concrete headstone as her eyes continued to focus on the one in front of her, as if staring at it long enough she'd find something she missed earlier, a crack or some existential answer perhaps. She didn't mind though, wasting the day away in that spot, in the silence was something she now treasured. She could still hear the remaining birds chirping, the leaves bristling in the light breeze, the flowing water in the little creek nearby and even some wandering citizens that were passing by the gates of the grounds; all sounds she wouldn't have heard so crisp and clearly a few months ago.

She sighed when she felt a new breeze join in with the wind just behind her. "I was wondering when you'd find me." She calmly greeted without taking her eyes off her parents' tombstone.

"Considering the day, it wasn't that hard to figure out." The velvety voice stated nonchalantly as he moved to stand beside her seated form.

Elena Gilbert sighed before she looked up at her visitor under her long lashes. "For you maybe. You're the only one that showed up today."

Damon Salvatore softly chuckled as he crouched down beside her. "Now that can't be true. Your brother mentioned that he dropped by here yet he didn't run into you." He pointed out with ease.

"One of the perks of being the new me." Elena quipped before she turned back to the tombstone; her joking manner quickly sobering up. She had seen Jeremy visiting their parents' grave earlier but she kept her distance as she allowed her brother to have his time alone with their dead parents. It was only after her left the grounds did Elena return to her spot in front of the tombstone (the very spot she's still sitting in now).

Damon smirked. "One indeed." He stated as he continued to watch Elena's profile for any clues. While normally he wouldn't filter what he said to the brunette but he figured that today of all days would be an exception. "Did you manage to find what you were looking for here?" He managed to ask after a few moments of silence between them. When no one was able to pinpoint where Elena was during the day, Damon had an idea on where she would be. He only waited until that moment to go check and see if his hunch was correct.

Elena shrugged. "I don't know. I just used the silence as a chance to reflect on everything." She explained tiredly before she turned to face him. "I still can't believe it's been two years." She said and while he knew that she meant the accident that took her parents away from her, by the look in her doe brown eyes, Damon knew that she wasn't just referring to that moment since that day was also the day that they had unofficially met on the side of a road.

Damon's smirk softened a bit but Elena knew that he had gotten the hidden message. "It seems like a lifetime ago doesn't it."

She couldn't help but nod in agreement as she turned away once again yet she could still feel his gaze on her. "So much has happened since then. So much has been gained and lost that my head still spins when I think about it all." She admitted with ease to him before she continued. "Two years ago I was the popular cheerleader with two loving parents, last year I was the doppelganger who just survived the sacrifice and who was looking for her vampire boyfriend and now…"

"And now you're a vampire doppelganger who's about to graduate high school in a month for the first time." Damon finished with a chuckle which earned him a playful punch to the shoulder. "If you look at it like that then yeah, _a lot_ has changed since then Elena."

"I was never fond of change." Elena admitted with a sigh.

She was never afraid to tell Damon anything when she was human and now that she was a vampire, she never hesitated in confiding in him about how she felt about all the discoveries she's made as a vampire or all the issues she was now dealing with from when she was a human. Damon didn't judge her on her new thoughts or her new urges. Instead he became a mentor to her to help lessen the blow being a vampire could give a newborn. Stefan and Caroline helped when they would (even though they had their own control issues to worry about) but it was Damon that Elena usually turned to; it was instinctual for her to turn to him. The only time she ever truly held something back from Damon was when the emotions she felt for him were concerned. Even though her time in limbo gave her more clarity on her situation with the Salvatore brothers, she knew that she couldn't just jump right into things once she woke up. Ever since Elena's transition, Damon's been patient enough to let that issue move to the back of their minds as they focused solely on getting her bloodlust under control (he had to step up when Stefan's guilt for not saving Elena took over him from time to time). At first the eldest Salvatore needed time to simmer down from the incident but once he realized that Elena _needed_ him as a friend now more than ever, he sobered up and got to work on helping her.

Damon gave a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "Well, you'll get used to it after a while. Vampires may not be able to change as time passes yet we are still subjected to the change around us. Adjusting will become second nature for you in no time Elena." He finished with a slight lecturing tone, the one he usually used when he was teaching Elena something new about being a vampire or about the supernatural world in general.

Elena giggled just a bit before she sobered up like a good _student_. "Just like the control?"

"You're adjusting fine with your control and why shouldn't you with _me_ as your mentor?" The older vampire reassured her in a teasing manner.

She rolled her eyes before she gave him an amused look. "And here I thought it was all _my_ doing?"

Damon laughed with a smirk plastered on his face. Moments alone with Elena could get pretty unpredictable but he always cherished the moments when she was playful and carefree like this, especially since she became a vampire.

"Either way, thanks Damon." Elena said more seriously as she gave the eldest Salvatore a grateful smile.

Damon's smirk softened as he thought of what to say. Normally he'd just joke around and lighten the mood but he could tell by her mannerism that she didn't want that at the moment. With that in mind, the older vampire exhaled deeply before he decided to just jump right into the conversation. "I just want you to get everything you deserve Elena and while this may not be the life you initially wanted, I'm going to make sure that you fully embrace it and start enjoying life now that you're free from the confides of mortality and that dreaded school." He teased at the end which earned him another giggle that would always soften his heart.

"I still have one more month Damon, you said so yourself. Then I have the courses at the local university that I'd be taking." Elena reminded him with a smile on her face. She knew he hated talking about school and his reaction didn't disappoint her; it always amused her.

Damon groaned as his head dramatically fell in his hands. "More school Elena? Haven't we talked about this? You can go _anywhere_ in the world now and you decide to go to school that's so close to town, which is risky in so many ways." He pointed out once he lifted his head up to face her. He understood Elena's need to go to school yet after all their past talks about it over the past few months, he still couldn't convince her to leave town to do it.

"I can't leave Jeremy, you know that." She pointed out as she continued to look at her parents' grave.

"And I keep telling you to drag him along. He's already spent part of the school year in Denver so why not let him finish the rest of his schooling there?" Damon rebutted right back because when it truly came down to it, nothing else was keeping Elena in Mystic Falls except for Jeremy. All of her friends were going to colleges outside of the city to try to separate themselves from the supernatural happenings that the town had drawn in yet Jeremy still had two more years left of high school with Elena being his last remaining legal guardian.

Elena sighed; she knew that Damon was right. She should leave and take Jeremy with her just so that it would be harder for the remaining Originals to find her if they ever came back to town but something inside her just couldn't leave her hometown yet. All her roots were there, everything she's ever known has come from Mystic Falls; she didn't know any other place. She never had any other town to call home before. "It's just too soon to leave here Damon."

Damon nodded before he shifted himself closer to Elena. "I get that Elena but you are eventually going to have to let go. You will soon realize that life is a lot more thrilling when you have nothing holding you back." He softly stated as he evoked a little bit more wisdom into her brain.

"You've never let me go…not really." She whispered without thinking. He didn't say anything so she took that as a sign to continue. "You _should_ have, after everything I put you through since we met." She finished as she looked up at him from under her lashes; a little timid at the fact that she had turned the conversation into the direction it was now in.

Damon gave a soft laugh under his breath; not believing that she was willing to bring this specific topic up for them (they've been avoiding anything related to it due to Elena's enhanced emotions). "I could say the same about you." He replied with a smirk before the expression softened on his flawless face. "Whether you like it or not Elena, you're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere, not until you tell me to."

Elena smiled. "I would never do that."

Damon raised an amused eyebrow at the new vampire. "And why's that?"

"Because I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life Damon. Everything else might've changed but _that_ sentiment has not." Elena confidently stated as her chocolate eyes stared into his sapphire ones. She hoped that even though she hasn't been strong enough to even breach the subject when it came to the possibility of being more with Damon, she wanted him to see that no matter what, she _wanted_ him in her life. She knew that she wanted to try taking that next step with Damon but she wasn't sure she was ready for it now that she was a vampire. She just needed time to readjust to everything before she let herself become fully consumed by the force that is Damon. Her vampire self was only capable of handling friend-Damon at the moment.

"It's only a matter of time before you get tired of me." Damon quipped with a shrug as his gaze shifted to the four graves in front of him (two marked and two unmarked). He knew that Elena needed time (being a newborn vampire was not easy if you're trying not to lose yourself in the process) and he was willing to wait for her. They've been through a lot together since they met; so much so that he often forgot that she's only eighteen (almost nineteen). She still had to experience things before she knew what she wanted in the long run and Damon was willing to wait. As long as he was able to share those experiences _with_ her…well, that would be the next best thing if he couldn't _be_ with her yet.

Elena turned to face Damon once she heard the underlined fear in his statement. He wouldn't meet her gaze as it was focused on the ground in front of him but she knew that he was worried that she would leave him eventually.

Without even thinking, Elena leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Damon's cheek. Her lips lingered on his skin for a few moments before she slowly pulled back.

He slowly turned to face her, his eyes showed how stunned he was by her gesture but he didn't move.

She gave him a small smile before she uttered a word with so much conviction that even a stubborn vampire like Damon would see that she wasn't joking; "Never."

Damon smiled before he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Elena's forehead before he muttered the same word to her in a whisper.

It was all that they needed; the reassurance that they won't be alone anymore. They've both experienced so much loss since they met that all they truly needed was someone that wouldn't abandon them and while they weren't romantically together at that precise moment, it didn't mean that their friendship would stop thriving until they made that final leap because let's face it, when it comes to Damon and Elena, the fact that they were friends first would only strengthen their bond further once they become a couple. And after everything they've been through together, it is easy to see that _nothing_ could come between Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert.

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**A/N#4: **And there you have it. I apologize if its a bit scattered or jumpy but its how the idea ended up on the page.

**A/N #5:** So I wanted to show in this sequel/epilogue that Elena didn't just jump into a relationship with Damon once she woke up. I wanted to bring up the fact that their friendship is still strong and mending now that Damon is mentoring her in the vampire life (which has brought them closer since she's able to understand what he's going through better). Caroline and Stefan offer their assistance from time to time but ultimately Damon is Elena's true vampire mentor (Stefan tried but it wasn't working for Elena since she didn't want to end up in Stefan's position and suffer from the blood controlling her instead of the other way around). So enough said, **thank you once again for reading this and I hope to hear your thoughts in a review.** Enjoy your weekend everyone!

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**Originally Published: **August 18, 2012


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